What should i do?

Satu hal bisa ngebuat kita mengingat banyak hal yg udah kita lupa, bahkan gue hampir lupa kalo hal itu pernah ada. Semua memori yg hilang skrg hadir lg.

Tentang dia...
Dia yg ngebuat gue sangat jatuh cinta, membahagiakan gue sampe gue lupa kalo ada yg namanya kesedihan, dan dia juga yg memberi gue kesedihan sampe gue lupa apa itu bahagia. Dan pada akhirnya dia pergi.

Seburuk apapun dia, tetep dia masih jadi yg terbaik diantara yg pernah ada.
Yg terbaik bukan berarti dia sempurna.

Gue bener-bener kayak ditarik ke masa dimana awal dia pergi dari gue. Sakit yg dulu gak ada skrg ada lagi, perasaan entah apa namanya ini skrg muncul lg. Hampa.
I'm not fine. Sleep for hours, hot tea, cupcake, oreo, sponge strawberry, ice cream, chocolates, fruits, books, talking to strangers, locking myself in the dark room, watching thousand movies, watching funny videos, listening hundred musics, ate spicy foods, cooking, rattling, mumbling, posting junk notes, writing letters, talking to dad and mom, talking to bestfriend, smile to strangers. It didnt help. Nothing. Nothing makes me fine. Nothing makes me better.

Nothing can make me fine, but i used to randomly call my friends. Whoever available. Hangout with them. Talking to random people, about random things. Fake a smile. And they will hug me. And my day will be a little bit brighter, knowing you are not alone.
But the thing is, by the time after that, the pain remains here.

Nothing can fix me but you. What to do?